it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
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