This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
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I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
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I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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