What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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