The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
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