ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Randomize
