It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
We had to coat check the pizza.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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