hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Randomize
