Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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