office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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