I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
