just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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