I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Randomize
