So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
