Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
