Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
