Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
