dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
