Define "chronic" masturbator.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
