Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Randomize
