So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I have so many feelings about this burrito
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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