is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
