I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
You may now shotgun with the bride
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
