i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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