I think scott just propositioned me for sex
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
