i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
