i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
