Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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