I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
