porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
