I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize