1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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