Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
