I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize
