"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
