we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
