I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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