you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize