How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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