Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
