i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
