and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
