Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
