Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
