somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
i love accidental penises.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
