you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Randomize