Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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