shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize
