I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
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