dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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