it was like eating out sand paper
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize