dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Randomize
