we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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