I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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