I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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