I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
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she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
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I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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