They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize