Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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