I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
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I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
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I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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