i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
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told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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