I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Randomize
