he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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