so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Randomize
