8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Small penises have feelings too.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I am midnight drunk by noon
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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