did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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