I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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